


the worst part is not knowing

by sarih93



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 01:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4687040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarih93/pseuds/sarih93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What can be worse than the end of the world as you know it? Having to go through it without your loved ones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hope Solo is tired, probably more tired than she's been in her entire life. Two weeks ago she was waking up next to the love in her life in their apartment in LA. A week after that she was trying to survive the pandemonium on the streets of Seattle, running towards safety.

_“Hope! I don't know what's going on, the news just keep telling people to stay inside but they don't say why.” Hope could imagine how distressed the woman on the other side of the phone was and it physically hurt to think of the distance between them._

_“I don't know either Kell but everyone here is going crazy, the National Guard is on the streets.” Seattle was a chaos right now but Hope was reluctant to share more information with Kelley, it would do more harm than good. There's a gasp and a shaky breath. “When are you coming home? I'm scared,” Kelley admits in a soft voice._

_Hope runs a hand through her hair, she tries to ignore the way fear constricts her heart because right now she doesn’t have time to think like that. “Go next door and stay with Ash and Ali, I'll feel better if you're not alone right now. I'll find a way to come home baby I promise.”_

_“I love you” The emotion Hope knows is behind those three little words makes her vision goes blurry._

_“I love you too.” Her tight grip on the cellphone makes her knuckles go white. Hope cries after she hangs up, not being able to fight all the dreadful scenarios in her head. But eventually she manages to dry her tears._

The 16 hour drive from Seattle to LA took her a week, easily the worst week of Hope’s life. It felt like a nightmare but reality was worse than anything she could’ve ever dreamed of. The first shock came when; trying to make her way out of Seattle she discovered the cause of all the mayhem. There were reanimated corpses roaming through the streets of Seattle, hungry for brains. The first time she saw them was like an out of body experience, she was inside her car and ten feet away this thing was leaning over a young boy tearing off pieces of flesh. The boy was still alive and screaming, he made eye contact with Hope but she got out of her shock and sped off.

That phone call was the last time she got the chance to talk to Kelley. Shortly after it the power lines went down and all communications were cut off. Thinking about the freckled woman turned out to be a double edge sword because while Kelley was her reason to keep moving forward, sometimes at night she couldn’t help but think that she would never see her again, that her happy ending is going to get cut short.

Right now she’s frozen outside of Ali and Ashlyn’s apartment, staring at the door that is already halfway open. Panic constricts her chest and she’s feeling nauseous. Her legs won’t move forward, her brain’s way of protecting her against what she might find on the other side of that door.

_“I didn’t know you were coming over.”_

_“I’ve missed you too Ali,” was Hope’s sarcastic response to Ali’s greeting. The younger woman chuckled and gave her a hug._

_“Shut up, you know we like having you over.” They make their way to the living where unsurprisingly Ashlyn is watching a soccer game._

_“Sup Hope? Where’s your better half?”_

_“Kell had to go back to her office for some papers.”_

_Not much was said until half time._

_“I’m going to Seattle next week, just for the weekend,” Hope blurted out and took notice of the look the couple shared. Her friends knew her well enough to know that she rarely went back to her hometown._

_“Is Kelley going with you?” Ashlyn asked._

_“No, I’m going alone,” Hope took a breath “I have to pick up my grandmother’s engagement ring,” she finished with a nervous smile. Ali’s jaw dropped and Ashlyn immediately made her way over to Hope to give her a tight hug._

_“Hope this is great! I’m so happy for you guys! Do you know how you’re going to propose?”_

_“Breathe Ashlyn.” Her friends’ excitement was a relief for Hope. It had taken her a very long time to decide that Kelley and she were ready to take the next step in their relationship._

_“Princess are you crying?”_

_Ali threw a cushion directly at Ashlyn’s face. Hope dissolved in laughter. She didn’t share it with her friends but in her head she already knows how she’s going to ask Kelley to spend the rest of their lives together._

Hope made her way into the apartment, trying to be as stealthy as she could. The place looked torn apart. Things were missing from every room and the kitchen was completely empty. The only reassuring thing was the absence of blood.

Hope sat on the living room’s couch and released her only weapon, a tire wrench with dried blood all over it. Ever since she left Seattle this had been the only destination in her mind. Now she needed a new plan. The first thing was looking for more supplies, especially food and water. Wearily she stood up and looked for the spare key to her apartment, hoping to find supplies there.


	2. Chapter 2

Everything looked exactly the same in the apartment that she had shared with Kelley for more than four years. With tears running down her cheeks she wanders around, millions of memories assaulting her mind.

_Hope is watching the timer, waiting for the first batch of cookies to be done. She notices movement from the corner of her eyes._

_“Stop trying to eat the cookie dough,” she says and holds the bowl over her head. She enjoys taking advantage of their height difference whenever she can._

_“Do you have eyes on the back of your head? How did you see me coming?” Kelley complains but stays close to her. Knowing Kelley she’s probably planning her next attack. “Just let me have a little, I like cookie dough” she continues, not waiting for an answer._

_“I know you do. But I also know it makes your stomach hurt and then you sit on the couch whining”_

_“Yeah but it’s worth it.”_

_"For you maybe, I'm the one who has to put up with you," Hope says jokingly. Kelley doesn’t even pretend to be offended; she just smiles knowingly at Hope._

_“You’re not gonna shut up about this are you?” Hope asks wearily_

_“Nope," she responds and circles Hope's waist with her arms._

_Hope rolls her eyes and gives in, letting go of the bowl. Kelley goes and sits on the kitchen island with a satisfied grin that Hope really wants to kiss. She loves the way Kelley’s smile feels pressed to her mouth. But then the timer goes off. Hope rolls her eyes and gives in. Kelley sits on the kitchen island with a satisfied grin that Hope really wants to kiss. But then the timer goes off._

Being inside their apartment really was a surreal experience, it almost made Hope question whether everything that happened that week was just a dream and that soon enough her alarm would go off, she’d turn around and tell Kelley about her nightmare. But the blood on her hands was definitely real.

The exhaustion of a week constantly moving around scared has caught up to Hope, who feels sluggish. She rummages mechanically through the kitchen cabinets looking for nonperishable foods.  It takes her a while to notice something odd. There should be more food because Kelley was strict with their emergency planning.  But nothing else was missing, not even the knife set, and the front door was locked when she arrived.

With renowned energies Hope frantically looked for a sign, a way to prove that Kelley took the food after leaving their best friends’ apartment. Because the only scenario she wanted to think about was Kelley willingly going somewhere else and in that case she would’ve left Hope clues so that they could reunite. But everything looks the same, there’s no neon arrow telling her where to go next.

She goes back to their bedroom, so far she hadn’t made it past the threshold but now she can’t avoid it anymore. Like the rest of the apartment there are no signs of the zombie apocalypses inside. The bed is unmade because when Hope wasn’t around Kelley didn’t bother with that kind of chores.  With her heart in her throat Hope opens the first drawer of her nightstand but there’s nothing new in there. She goes for the second drawer and right on top there’s a folded paper with her name on it. She doesn’t immediately grab it; she just reverently traces her name written in Kelley’s handwriting. She sits on the bed and reads the letter, there are tears running down her face but there’s also a smile by the time she’s done reading.

In a rush she flies through the apartment trying to pack everything useful and leave as soon as possible. Just before leaving she stops and stares at a picture close to the front door, it’s a picture of the two of them that was taken during a camping trip back in college. Hope smiles ruefully at those young faces; she was planning on taking Kelley back there and ask her to spend the rest of their lives together under the bright stars. Hope puts the picture in her bag and walks out the door, possibly for the last time.

**************

She arrives at her destination but she doesn't get out of the car immediately. Hope takes the ring out of her jacket's pocket. That ring was supposed to signify a new chapter in her life with Kelley. Now she has no idea what her future is going to be like or how long it’s going to be. A week ago she was getting everything ready to propose to her beautiful girlfriend. The car she’s in right now is not even her own. That one didn’t survive an incident with a zombie herd somewhere in Oregon. She had to go through hell but it’ll be worth it if she finds Kelley, if she gets to keep her promise.

**************

She approaches the building slowly. It looks unassuming; like a small office building but it’s located far enough from the city that at least on the outside it doesn’t appear to have suffered any damages. The front door is boarded up and she can’t look inside.

“Don’t come any closer!” Hope immediately obeys even if she’s not able to pinpoint the origin of the voice.

“How did you find this place? What are you doing here?” Another person yells, possibly from the second floor.

“I’m looking for someone,” Hope answers, voice scratchy from disuse.                                              

For a moment Hope can hear movement from inside the building but then it quiets down. She has to stand there for a few minutes wondering what’s going on until there are loud footsteps coming towards her. It takes them some time to open the door and Hope is growing impatient. Someone comes out. It’s Ashlyn looking banged up. Hope is immediately relieved, she made it. After that things happen too fast. She’s being ushered inside and everyone has a lot of questions about what’s going on outside. Ashlyn doesn’t let go of her wrist while she guides her through the halls. Hope catches glimpses of scared faces and makeshifts beds. Eventually Ashlyn stops in front of an open door and after squeezing her hand she leaves.

Hope tries but she can’t make a sound to alert the other woman inside the room of her presence. Kelley has lost some weight and her skin looked paler, making her many freckles stand out even more. But there was no denying that it was Kelley, her Kelley who had finally noticed someone staring at her and turned around. Kelley’s eyes widened but she stays frozen. Hope takes the first step forward and that seems to wake Kelley from her trance, she flings herself into Hope’s arms with enough force to knock them both down. They don’t let go of each other though, they just hang on a little tighter. Kelley is the first one to draw away, just far enough to kiss Hope. There’s a sense of desperation behind the kiss that makes their teeth clash and their bodies overheat. Eventually they stop kissing but they don’t stop hugging, right now nothing can separate them.

“You’re really here,” Kelley mumbles while she visually checks Hope for any injuries. Hope smiles and brings her shaking hands to Kelley’s cheeks. “I promised didn’t I?”

There will be time later to talk about everything that happened while they were away from each other. This moment is about enjoying each other’s embrace after a week of loneliness and fear. The zombies can go fuck themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow I made a sort of fluffy zombie apocalypse ? I don't even know how this happened but it did .

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't my usual style but hopefully you guys still enjoy it. Also now you guys can also get in touch with me through ask.fm/sarih93


End file.
